I am diving in..

This week has been sort of a whirl wind effect. Things go wrong, things go the way they should and there are little surprises that move forward. The things that go wrong are only categorized as "bad" or "wrong" because we have been influenced to do so, instead of taking those wrong things and seeing them in a positive light. I have been influenced on many occasions to see the wrong in things and being aggressive with posing myself as the "victim". My parents have tried to instill in me the "glass is half full" instead of the other way around. Although, that will and has changed.

I have become a much more positive person, than I was a week ago or even two years ago! I have been working since I was fourteen, I have learned the downs of this business, and I have learned them fast. Actors: Don't ever rely on someone to please you, don't ever let someone tare you down, and don't ever let anyone show your place in life - only I, you, and the other guy know who we are and know where we stand. In this business, only certain people know how it feels, to feel like you don't amount in status. Heriarchy, I feel is just another way for someone to one up another, instead of just realizing we are all the same. For me all these projects I am doing, are stepping stones. Once i have done a project I don't linger on it for too long and I am looking ahead again.

Tonight: I am heading to set to film my last day on "Legion". I will be shooting out on location! yay, in the middle of nowhere! I got the call sheet, and its Dennis Quaid, me and another fellow actor!

Day 3 on Legion

So I went back for my third day on Legion, this was an overnight on location in Gallisteo New Mexico. It was an awesome night, got to meet alot of the stunt doubles, as well as my own stunt double Angelic Midthunder! We watched the tape from that day and it was amazing what she did, busting through a glass window!

Here is Day 3 on set!
Here is my on set location trailer! I didn't spend any time in it though, I was on set from 9:30pm till 7 am!

"Easier with Practice"

Obviously I missed the memo for the "sexy" zoo lander face. Me and Eugene Byrd.

you know, this picture makes me laugh. I look like I won a fricken prize. My eyes are so WIDE!

Me and director Kyle Alvarez on set

now we are on the same page... Me and Eugene Byrd on set. Isn't my wardrobe sexy? ha ha

New Headshots!

Let me know what you think..

and the tops of buildings I can see them too.

Today marks the day of my one hundred and fifth post. Today I want to listen chamber pop and a mix of 80's new wave and go back in time. Today I want my cats to stop scratching their claws on the back of my couch. Some of which will not happen, to my dismay.

As scheduled tomorrow, I was to film Legion, well the rain changed that. I wanted it to rain, my allergies wanted it to rain. So I guess if you want one, the other will just have to come a little later, but I feel the schedule change came at the right time. My allergies/head cold seemed to have stepped in at the wrong time, and someone upstairs helped out. Thanks.

I had one of the weirdest dreams last night. It wasn't a bad one, it was just very strange but I was comfortable. My dream started out in a dark house, dimly lite, and I was seeing someone kicking around this tiny little kitten. So of course, I step in an take the kitten away from the person (don't remember who it was), and I was told by someone else in the house that its blind so it needs alot of attention. This kitten was so cute, it was very small covered in all white fur, with little black eyes. I remember trying to get it to follow me but it wasn't responding to me and my calls, so I picked it up and carried it to bed. I lied down and it snuggled me till I had fallen to sleep, what a good weird dream. I woke up to thinking the dream was real. I hate that.

I did an analysis of my dream:

To see a white kitten in your dream, signifies deceit and trouble.

To dream that you are blind, represents your refusal to see the truth or your lack of awareness to a problem. Perhaps you are rejecting something about yourself or your situation. Are you refusing to see any other point of view except your own? Consider the pun, "turning a blind eye".

Your eyesight being impaired when it isn't in real life can represent:

• An inability or unwillingness to see something in your life, or a tendency to deny something
• A lack of mental or emotional clarity, clarity about your life or direction, or otherwise
• Feeling lost or unsure

I really don't like the (white kitten part), but we will see!

Let me see some Fancy Footwork.

She says I remind her of her father and i know she likes it, she wants a man that has his game locked tight. I think she reminds me of her mother and she knows I like it, I want a woman with the same brown eyes. - Chromeo

You might of caught me at some point this week, if you drove by the my the front of my house, and saw me dancing in my living room. Swinging my hair side to side, with my arms in the air, and pushing those hips side to side in a ridiculous humorous way. This was not because I necessarily had a good or bad week, its just something I have learned that you need to do spontaneously, you settle your sanity back and you become comfortable with yourself. I have become very comfortable with myself recently. I am realizing the things I am capable of and the things to push the limits, and when things go to far. I know when I have had enough and when I haven't. I think mostly the comfortability is coming from how much I am doing for myself and not relying on others. I am becoming financially stable for myself, and being in control of what I want to do and go.

I was meant to travel the world. My grandmother has been more places than I can even relate to, my mother lived in England at the age of 16. Its my turn to give myself something to increase my life's moral. Acting has supplied me with the means, its time to put it to use. So, I have started to plan a trip for next year, (May), where I am going to backpack Europe for two weeks, starting in England and ending in France (where i have once been before, but not Paris, the country side). Time passes to fast to just sit there waiting for the world to reach out to you.

M'enlever à un lieu spécial. M'enlever pour améliorer des jours.

Calendar of upcoming events:
May 19th - New headshots/photo shoot
May 21st - Filming "Easier with Practice"
May 22nd - Filming "Easier with Practice"

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Some people who keep me sane.

When I keep holding on.

What do you do when you keep holding on to those feelings for being afraid to move on. Not talking relationships, or current situations. I am talking about being afraid to move on when you know what the next step is.

For me, my next step is, to locate to LA. But to this day, I am TERRIFIED, of approaching this. I just don't know what I want to do. I know what I have to do, but I can't get that message to my legs or hands to make that happen. My mother keeps telling me its not where I belong, but is it? I know I don't like traffic, I am scared to move again, I am afraid to the elevation of cost, and I am scared to be in a city where the pool is larger than I can imagine. Although, i know that is the only step I need to take in where I need to go.

My current situation is, I have an awesome Agent. She has pushed me in the right direction to start and I don't want to leave her. I have booked, Terminator, The Eye, Legion and Easier with Practice and I have only been with her for 1 1/2 years. I also have a better in here with the smaller pools than i would in LA.

I need some time to think. and maybe a little push would help.